Hi! I’m Jen. I’m so glad you’re here.
I’m a licensed clinical psychotherapist, couple counsellor and energetic healer who uses an integrated, and personalised process for helping individuals and couples heal from attachment adaptations and childhood trauma to foster more secure attachment internally and with those you love. I’m the author of Heal Your Anxious Attachment and the host of the Psychotherapy Central Podcast, where we explore love, attachment and healing trauma.
No Bad Parts is the name of Richard Schwartz’s book on Internal Family Systems (IFS). In it he describes the foundation of his modality and how it works. All parts need and deserve love, compassion and understanding. They are all …
If you resonate with this pattern of outside-in referencing, let me know in the comments. It is one of the indications of anxious attachment. love Jen x P.s. If you feel anxious in relationships, I have a book coming out …
Reminder: it is NORMAL to have conflict in a relationship. Excellent relationship researchers, the Gottman’s, discovered that it was not the number of disputes that determined if a relationship was robust or not, but how the couple resolved the conflict.Notice …
Over the years, I have collected a few – these are the stand-outs. Notice that there is a lot of Peter Levine, the founder of Somatic Experiencing. His books contain deep insight into the nature of trauma and how to …
Communicating your needs is part of secure attachment. If you want to hear more about this 🎧 listen to the full episode to explore what secure attachment looks, feels, and sounds like—and why it matters. YouTube: Spotify: Love, Jen
If you didn’t grow up with secure attachment, it can feel like chasing something that you don’t have a clear idea of. So, let’s make it real. This is the felt sense of secure attachment. It’s calm. It’s steady. And …
In a secure relationship, your nervous system’s resting place is in the ventral vagal state—a branch of the parasympathetic nervous system associated with social engagement, safety, and calmness. The goal isn’t to stay in this state all the time. It’s …
When we experience trauma, our thoughts, emotions, and body can feel fragmented—like they’re speaking different languages. We might notice flashbacks, racing thoughts, numbness, dissociation, or a pounding heart. These reactions come from different parts of the brain: Neocortex = thoughtMammalian …
When we work with trauma from a top-down perspective, we start with the brain—specifically the neocortex, the part responsible for thinking, meaning-making, and language. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), recommended by the American Psychiatric Association to treat PTSD, helps us reframe …
Top-Down vs Bottom-Up Healing When it comes to trauma therapy, the order matters. A top-down approach starts with the thinking brain (neocortex). Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a good example—reframing thoughts to shift behaviour. But here’s the challenge: when you’re …
An attachment injury happens when the person you rely on most—your partner, parent, or caregiver—fails to respond in a moment of deep need. These moments leave emotional bruises that say: “I can’t trust you to be there for me.” …
When we’ve experienced trauma, it’s common to want to pull away. To feel shame. To think, “I should be over this by now,” or “What’s wrong with me?” Confusion, anger, and self-judgment often follow—and all of that is completely normal.But …
When we’ve been hurt, lashing out can feel justified. It’s a natural response to pain. But if we stay in punishment mode, we risk doing more damage to the relationship. The real challenge for the hurt partner is this: Do …
Trauma can feel like a crack in your energy system—sometimes it heals naturally, and sometimes it doesn’t. When symptoms persist or worsen after a month, it’s time to seek support. Flashbacks, numbness, anxiety, anger, and self-medicating are all signs your …