Hi! I’m Jen. I’m so glad you’re here.
I’m a licensed clinical psychotherapist, couple counsellor and energetic healer who uses an integrated, and personalised process for helping individuals and couples heal from attachment adaptations and childhood trauma to foster more secure attachment internally and with those you love. I’m the author of Heal Your Anxious Attachment and the host of the Psychotherapy Central Podcast, where we explore love, attachment and healing trauma.
No Bad Parts is the name of Richard Schwartz’s book on Internal Family Systems (IFS). In it he describes the foundation of his modality and how it works. All parts need and deserve love, compassion and understanding. They are all …
If you resonate with this pattern of outside-in referencing, let me know in the comments. It is one of the indications of anxious attachment. love Jen x P.s. If you feel anxious in relationships, I have a book coming out …
Reminder: it is NORMAL to have conflict in a relationship. Excellent relationship researchers, the Gottman’s, discovered that it was not the number of disputes that determined if a relationship was robust or not, but how the couple resolved the conflict.Notice …
Over the years, I have collected a few – these are the stand-outs. Notice that there is a lot of Peter Levine, the founder of Somatic Experiencing. His books contain deep insight into the nature of trauma and how to …
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It is difficult to be truly vulnerable with someone you don’t trust. Trust isn’t built overnight; it takes time. In a relationship, many small moments become the building blocks of trust. It might …
If you grew up with a lot of criticism around you, you likely have a loud, critical voice in your head as an adult. Usually, that critical voice is directed inward, but in intimate relations Criticism usually grows out of …
The four communication styles that have a negative impact on your relationships according to the Gottmans: Everyone will have a favoured method. Mine is defensiveness. Defensiveness is a response to criticism and tends to increase conflict because the other person …
Over the last two weeks, I’ve been refining my morning ritual to include more ayurvedic principles. Much of my morning routine has been in place for over five years, but I find I need to adjust it now and again, …
You might have grown up with a roof over your head and three meals a day with your two parents. You might look back at your childhood and think, “Okay, I was alone a lot, and my family weren’t very …
Let me know what questions you have about attachment and attachment styles. Love, Jen
ttachment exists on a spectrum, with ‘secure’ in the middle. You might emerge from childhood with more anxious traits in relationships. You might enter a relationship with someone securely attached and find that you are moving on the spectrum towards …
Hot and cold behaviours will trigger anxiety regardless of your attachment style. If one day they are sending you flowers and the next they are not responding to a text, that’s hot and cold. If one day they invite you …